


You're All I Ever Think About...

by Magentas_Nightmare



Series: Merle Dixon Oneshots [48]
Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Awkward Crush, Crush at First Sight, Devotion, F/M, Nice Merle Dixon, Protective Merle Dixon, Smut, True Love, ZA
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 16:54:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24140161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magentas_Nightmare/pseuds/Magentas_Nightmare
Summary: Merle Dixon doesn't even realize that he's the object of the new girl's affections until she steps in to save his life.
Relationships: Merle and OFC - Bernice
Series: Merle Dixon Oneshots [48]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1337284
Comments: 8
Kudos: 31





	You're All I Ever Think About...

**You're All I Ever Think About**

"Bernice?”

“Yes?”

“Could you grab the clothes from the line, I think they're dry. I have another wet load to put up.”

“No problem. I'll hang the new load as well.”

Bernice got up and made her way to the long clothes line with laundry blowing in the breeze and began to collect pegs to put into the pocket of her apron as she moved down the line. She worked as hard as she could, she was grateful to be where she was. For months her mother housed her begrudgingly after the turn with her step father and two younger siblings but the moment they found a chance to leave her there, they did.

The sun was hot and bright so she covered her head with a kerchief. Being a redhead in the Georgia summer was next level cruelty. Her mother hated her red hair and freckles and never missed an opportunity to point out that she looked just like her useless deadbeat father. She hummed to herself and folded the dry clothing from the line before starting on the new wet load to be hung.

“Got a clean shirt for me, Bernie?”

She turned to see Merle Dixon digging through the freshly folded clothes looking for one of his undershirts.

“On the bottom,” she said softly.

“Huh? Oh thanks.”

He straightened up the clothes a little and pulled the shirt down over his bare chest, leaving her mesmerized. She had been part of the group for only a month but already her feelings for Merle were so strong that they consumed her mind for most of the day. He walked away and she kept on with her work for the rest of the morning. She finished up the laundry, collected dandelions and berries from the woods, checked the traps and then helped to gut fish for supper. Andrea and Amy along with the Dixons kept the whole group fed and she felt food security for the first time in ages. She was a decent hunter, but had no weapon of her own and she was kept busy with chores around the camp.

Shane had found her at the farm not long after her family left her there and she was happy to come along with him. She was quiet and kept to herself most of the time, but she still felt calmer with people around her. The group was still considering returning to her farm to settle but were in the process of collecting items on runs to make a life there. The farm would be a good place to go and she was excited to offer her old home to the group.

/

That evening after supper, Daryl arrived back from a run with Glenn and had a load of items from the road. He was trying to determine what would be useful and asked if anyone could use a bow. He used a crossbow but this was an English longbow, not something you'd see very often in Georgia. Everyone in the group looked at her like she had three heads when she said she could use it. Bernice had been big into archery all her childhood after falling in love with Robin Hood stories as a little girl. She wanted her hands on that English longbow, she would almost fight someone for it. She rarely spoke unless spoken to, but she had to speak up this time.

“You want it?” Daryl almost chuckled.

“I can use it,” she insisted. “I'm good with a bow...it needs to be oiled and restrung, I can see it from here. I can fix it up.”

“Well, OK then. If you say so,” he said, handing it over to her.

Bernice took the bow back to her tent and looked it over, deciding on the length of arrows she'd need to make and what she wanted to restring it with. She needed oil, so she walked to the cooking area to borrow a tablespoon of grease. It wasn't ideal but grease would work to soften the old bow in a pinch. The current string would work until she could find a good length of hemp or flax and on closer inspection it wasn't as bad as she originally thought. The only other person in the group who used a bow was Daryl and she knew that he used birch for his bolts, so she took a short walk in the dark to find a tree. Bernice knew that this was a way she could contribute to the group, so she worked most of the night on her craft. Nobody bothered with her much, she kept to her tent most of the time and didn't make a fuss. She was raised in a home where her problems were clearly of nobody's concern, so speaking up didn't even occur to her now.

At 26, she was still living at home to help her mother with the farm after the turn and hadn't bothered to move out. Now she was part of a group, and although she wasn't close to anyone, they were kind to her and she felt that she belonged somewhere for once. Bernice felt it was her duty to constantly earn her keep and by morning she had 6 decent arrows but needed feathers. She knew that Merle and Daryl would occasionally bag a partridge or a pheasant so she made a request of them when she noticed that they were up.

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah?” Daryl answered.

“If you happen to kill a bird, may I please have some feathers?”

“Feathers?”

“For my arrows.”

“Arrows?”

“Yes, for the bow you gave me. Thank you for that again.”

“You made arrows already?”

“Yes, six of them but I have no feathers.”

“This, I gotta see,” Merle chuckled, getting to his feet and demanding that she lead him back to her little tent where she slept alone every night.

She retrieved the arrows from inside her tent and handed them to Merle without a word. He made her nervous and she had trouble thinking of anything to say to him at the best of times.

“Birch?” he asked, as he held one of her arrows up to see if it was straight and inspected the nock she had carved in the dull end.

“Yes, but two of them are willow.”

“How'd you get it so straight?” he asked.

“The wood was green so I held it over a flame to bend the curve out where I needed to.”

“No arrowheads?” he noted.

“Only if I can find something to use for that. I can take down something small with just a sharpened end.”

“What have you hunted with these?”

“Opossum, rabbit, grouse,” she said. “Even a wild turkey once.”

“You must be nice and quiet on your feet. You should come along with me and Daryl sometime.”

“Sure.”

“I'll get you some feathers today.”

“Thank you,” she smiled.

He praised her handiwork again and then he was gone. Bernice crept into her tent to bury her face in her pillow and squealed. He had never spoken to her for so long before and she could hardly contain her happiness at his compliments. She was in a sad state, but he just made her feel like nobody else ever had.

/

Bernice read some stories to Carl and Sophia in the morning and helped haul water from the quarry all afternoon. By suppertime she was very tired but reminded herself that she could still be on her own at the farm and pushed onward.

Merle and Daryl returned from hunting as the sun set and she had stew left over still warm for them after everyone else was relaxing around the fire. She handed them both a bowl of food and poured them both some water before leaving to turn in for the night.

“Wait,” Merle called after her. “Got you something.”

He held out a plastic bag filled with feathers and she couldn't help grinning like it was Christmas morning.

“You remembered. Thank you.”

“Of course I remembered. There's some red and green ones in there too. Bagged a pheasant today just for you,” he chuckled.

“I can't thank you enough for this,” she pressed.

“It's just some feathers, honey. Calm down.”

Bernice nodded with a smile and turned to head back to her tent. She was determined to get a good dozen arrows finished by morning. She heated up some water for instant coffee over her little campfire and when the flames were high enough she began to bend her newly stripped willow and birch branches to make them straight. She replayed Merle calling her honey and smiled to herself in the dark. Sure enough there were some red and green feathers in the bag and she ran them through her thumb and forefinger to straighten out the individual hairs of the feather. Her arrows were going to be beautiful and she couldn't stop until they were finished.

/

When everyone had retired for the night, she was the only one awake besides Dale who sat perched on top of the camper. She would sometimes exchange a few words with him at night, he reminded her of her Grandpa Geoff, who had been the only member of her family who seemed to like her. He had taught her how to make arrows, care for a bow, and to hunt. He said she was the grandson he always wanted, because her own brother wouldn't be caught dead outdoors working at anything. Her step-brother and sister were indoorsy types and maybe that's why her mother liked them and not her. When Grandpa Geoff died she lost her only supporter and the only link to her real father who left when she was a baby. Her brother and sister were Hank's children, so maybe she was a reminder of the man who abandoned her mother, maybe that's why she was the despised child. She would never know for sure, and it didn't really matter anymore.

Her back was throbbing by the time she heard Dale stirring on the roof of the camper. She was just finished with her bow and arrows and giving the string a few good pulls to test it when she realized there was trouble.

"Shane!" Dale called and stomped on the roof of the camper to wake everyone up.

Everything moved so fast that by the time people realized there was a hoard upon them, Bernice had already taken out three of them with her bowie knife. She pulled the bow over her back and shoved her dozen arrows into the plastic bag Merle had used to give her the feathers. She ran back to Merle and Daryl's area to find that only Daryl was out of his tent and ready to fight so she pulled her knife to take out a walker that was about to walk straight into Merle's tent.

“I need to check on Carol?” Daryl exclaimed.

“Go! I got this,” Bernice insisted.

Bernice found a good position next to Merle's tent as he struggled to get out and pulled back an arrow, hoping like hell she'd worked on the bow enough to have it be useful. She released her first arrow and dropped a walker on the spot.

“Yes!” she shrieked and loaded up her next arrow.

She was going to be able to protect him till he got ready to fight and she was thanking the lord above. Merle Dixon would never look at her twice, but she'd be damned if she didn't keep him alive so that she could continue looking at him. He was out and pulling his knife from his belt when an arrow buzzed over his head by a good foot and impaled itself into the eye of a female walker.

“Jesus Christ! Good shot!”

“I won't hit you,” she assured him, “not in a hundred years.”

She fed her next arrow into the bow and continued taking out walkers left and right coming toward him as he stood there stunned and motionless.

Finally the path was clear enough to take out the rest with blades alone and she came to stand next to him with her blade drawn and they took out at least 8 before things cooled down.

Her adrenaline was on overload as the end of the battle became apparent and she bent over to grasp her knees and get a full breath of air.

“Bernie,” Merle panted as she stood up to look around her.

“Yeah?”

“That was incredible,” Merle said, shaking his head in disbelief. “You saved me.”

She had, but she didn't know how to possibly accept credit for such a thing. Bernice knew she'd die to save him and that it would make no sense to him if she ever told him as much. Sad as it was, she adored him and would walk through fire to keep him breathing. What she felt for him was a powerful, one-sided and unstoppable love that wouldn't go away no matter how many times she pleaded for mercy.

“It was nothing,” she said and began to search for all her arrows.

"That was not nothing. Where did you learn to do that?

"From my grandpa and I was in the archery club in high school, I competed a few times," she explained.

Merle grabbed her by the shoulder then and she didn't know what to think.

“But why was this the first place you came when shit hit the fan? Why did you come here to protect me of all people?” he pressed.

“I had to,” she shrugged, praying that he wouldn't push her any farther.

There's no way she could tell him the real reason.

The group began to get loud, barking orders to one another, people calling around to see if anyone was injured and the conversation got crowded out by chaos as she slowly backed away and back to her tent.

She wiped the blood from her arrows and stopped for a moment to thank God that everyone was safe, especially Merle. She only broke two arrows and couldn't belief her luck. The red and green feathers were all still intact and she looked down at them and smiled. Merle Dixon was alive and in her heart there was still a silly little glimmer of hope that maybe in time he'd see her as an option.

/

In the morning it was decided that the farm was where they all needed to be and Bernice went over the directions with Shane and Rick again. Bernice got busy loading up the camper and vehicles to make the journey and noted that Merle was looking at her strangely. The last thing she wanted to do was speak to him about why she ran to his aid, so for the first time ever she wasn't looking for chances to be near him. She gathered up her arrows and her bow and took a walk into the woods to try and hunt before they left. She explained to Shane and Rick where she was going and they told her she needed to be back in two hours.

“No problem,” she nodded. "Please don't leave without me."

"Why would we ever do that?" Shane chuckled.

"I don't know," she answered honestly.

In her experience, sometimes people just left.

“You were great with that thing last night,” Rick smiled. “Merle told us all about it. You came running to save his worthless ass like Wonder Woman.”

“It was nothing...and he's not worthless,” she argued softly. “I'll be back soon.”

She walked off into the trees and tried to think of an excuse to tell Merle if he asked her again, but nothing came to mind. Bernice heard a sound in the bush after about ten minutes and followed what she figured was probably a rabbit. She spotted fresh rabbit droppings and began to slow her pace and walk more softly as she kept her ears peeled and her eyes wide for a sign of movement anywhere around her.

She pulled her bow and readied and arrow when she sensed something close.

One soft step after another and then she spied it, soft, grey and nibbling grass about 20 feet away. Bernice took a steady breath and pulled back her bow to line up her shot.

After killing the rabbit, she cleaned her arrow and returned it to the plastic bag she was still holding onto and walked back to the camp. It wasn't much, but the decent sized rabbit would make a good pot of stew for one meal.

She carried it by its ears and as she walked through the clearing to the camp she first saw Merle and walked in the opposite direction to gut the rabbit near the main fire. She was just yanking the skin from the rabbit when she saw him approaching her.

“You really took out a rabbit with those arrows, huh?”

“Yes. Thanks for the feathers,” she nodded and tore the fur from the animal with a hard rip.

“You're something else, Bernice,” he smiled and she melted inside.

“So are you,” she answered when nothing else came to mind.

“I want you to know that I'll always be lookin' out for you now. I really appreciate you lookin' out for me.”

“You don't owe me anything,” she insisted. “I don't want anyone to get hurt just for me.”

“What do you mean 'just for you'?” he asked.

“I just mean that it's not worth it. You have Daryl, Andrea and Amy are sisters, almost everyone here is special to someone else. I'm just here by fluke and I belong with nobody. Daryl needs you, so don't ever risk your safety for me.”

“Why would you ever say something like that?”

“What do you mean?”

“Who the hell got you so convinced that you don't matter?”

“My family, I guess.”

“Your family?”

“It doesn't matter...I don't want to talk about it.”

“Isn't your family dead? Isn't that why you came along with Shane?”

“No, they just left.”

“They left you there? I always assumed they were dead.”

“No.”

“Bernie...”

“I'm happier here anyway, it's OK. My mother just didn't like me.”

“What kind of mother doesn't like her own daughter?”

“I don't know, I never had another kind of mother.”

“I'm sorry, Bernie. You deserve better than that.”

“I'm OK,” she insisted, forcing a smile to convince him she was alright.

“Go wash up and rest, honey. I'll butcher this for you and make a stew.”

“I can get it.”

“I said go wash up and rest for a while. Don't make me tell ya twice,” he winked.

Bernice walked to the wash pail and scrubbed the blood and fur from her hands and thought about that wink and his words. He was just who she thought and it made it ache ever more. Merle Dixon wasn't just a handsome man, he was a kind man and she wanted him more with each breath.

They were packed and ready by day break and Bernice asked to curl up in the back of a car the Jim was driving.

“Sure thing, Robin Hood,” he winked. “Heard about your skills.”

“From who?”

“Merle.”

“Oh.”

Jacqui got into the seat next to Jim and Bernice lay down in the back to sleep along the way. She could hear the rumble of Merle's bike as it passed and then the truck Daryl was driving as it followed closely behind and she imagined riding on the back of Merle's bike, holding onto him and feeling the wind in her face.

/

“This place is gonna work,” Merle noted.

“It's huge and it's gotta be a good 10 acres of land,” Daryl agreed. “Bernice still sleeping?”

“Yeah, just had a look at her a minute ago and she's out like a light.”

“She's not what I thought.”

“Me neither,” Merle nodded. “She's got some skills alright...cute little thing too.”

“Hey, keep it in your pants,” Daryl chuckled.

“Why? I think she might even be into me.”

“Not a chance.”

“I don't know...there's something about how she looks at me. I might go for it.”

“Isn't she a bit young?”

“Young is fine, it's not like she's a kid or anything. Hell, maybe we could even have a couple of kids or something.”

“Wait! What?”

“Why not? We got a place now. I've been thinking about it lately, and I'm sick of being alone and I don't think I'm gonna find another woman like Bernice in this world. She's the kind of woman who can really hold her own.”

“You're almost 50.”

“And she's young, like you said. Don't matter how old I am, it's her lady bits that matter.”

“Jesus Christ, Merle!”

“You can sit there and pine for Carol till the end of time, but I think I found a woman and if I can I'm making her mine and getting movin' on some babies.”

“Merle, wait!”

“Nah, I'm gonna go wake her up,” he winked.

"Merle, where is this coming from? I think you need to chill out and make sure she's even into this."

"It's been forever since I had a woman, Daryl, and I just have a good feeling about her. I told ya, there's something in her eyes when she looks at me. If I'm wrong, she's free to say no, but I gotta try."

"Alright man, but take it easy or you'll freak her right out," Daryl warned.

/

“Wakey wakey.”

Bernice rubbed her eyes and looked up to see Merle calling her through the car window.

“Gonna show us around?” he asked.

“Oh, yeah. Of course.”

Bernice climbed out of the car and walked up to the house, feeling like there were ghosts inside awaiting her. It hadn't really dawned on her until now, but this wasn't a happy place for her.

She walked the entire group through the front door and described where things were.

“There's four bedrooms upstairs and two in the attic. My old room is downstairs so I'll just take that one again, it's damp and the spiders are as big as cats,” she said.

Everyone began to find rooms and she carried her bag down the stairs to the basement to unpack. She was used to the basement and even though it was horrible, it felt familiar. Her mother insisted that she should stay down there and she didn't bother to argue. She would spend many nights in the woods when the weather was good anyway.

She was just going through her books and looking over her arrows when Merle appeared at the bottom of the steps looking for her.

“Bernie?”

“I'm here,” she said, drawing his attention to her room.

“Hey.”

“Hi,” she smiled. “Did you find a room?”

“No...what's with this place?”

“What do you mean?”

“There's a bunch of pictures in the living room and you ain't in any of 'em.”

She shrugged and just left it alone. Any answer would only lead to more questions and it did no good to go there.

“You had two siblings, a mom and a step dad, right?” he pressed.

“Yes.”

“Then why were you down here when there's 6 rooms in this place? It's a huge house, Bernice.”

“My mom didn't like me, I told you already.”

He sat down on a kitchen chair in the corner of her room and she just looked at him with longing in her heart.

“Do you even know you were being abused?” he asked.

“They never hit me,” she explained.

“You were neglected, Bernie.”

“I got food and a place to sleep, I had all my needs met.”

“No you didn't, you need love too, Bernie.”

She wanted to cry then but shook her head slowly till the feeling passed.

“I'm OK,” she assured him. “I'll be OK.”

“Hey, the way they treated you isn't OK,” he argued.

“I didn't have anywhere else to go.”

“You do now. Come upstairs.”

“It's OK. The good rooms should go to the children and families.”

“Then I'm staying down here too.”

“You don't have to.”

“Stop fighting me, Bernie.”

“OK,” she smiled.

“Come hunting with me in the morning,” he suggested.

“Sure. There's a good area not far from here. Daryl can maybe take a deer with his crossbow.”

“Just me and you, Daryl can stay back.”

“OK,” she answered.

She wanted to grin like a fool but kept it to a simple smile and a nod.

Merle went upstairs to grab his things and unpacked them in the rumpus room just outside her bedroom door. She felt like her mind was in a hot panic to be sleeping so close to him and tried to keep her cool all through suppertime.

Shane and Rick made plans for the farm involving animals and planting crops and she made suggestions based on the materials she knew to be available. She was happy to be creating new and better memories on the farm, she knew deep down that her family was abusive but it was easier to spend her time in the woods and hide from the fact most of the time. She had been out hunting when they packed up and left without her. It was amazing how much she cried over people who never treated her kindly. Shane showing up was the one thing that brought her back around. The promise of a group to belong to had given her new hope and then seeing Merle's face for the first time made her believe again that life could be worth it.

Bernice got the well water flowing after working on priming the pump for over an hour. Now people would have water and it was a huge bonus to everyone.

“It won't be warm, but it's good water,” she announced as she wiped her wet hands on the back of her jeans and headed downstairs to sleep.

Bernice got undressed and into a nightgown after washing up and brushing her hair properly for the first time in weeks. It felt good to have a roof over her head and she felt clean and human again for a moment. She braided her hair and sat on her old bed to rest and heard Merle coming down the steps.

“Jesus Christ!” he screamed and she leapt out of bed to see what happened.

“You OK?”

“Get it!” he shouted, pointing at a spider scuttling on the ground.

“They don't bite,” she assured him. “They're just big.”

“You weren't kidding! I never seen one that fuckin' big!” he shivered.

She found it sweet that he was afraid of a spider and caught it in a cup to let it outside.

“I'll catch 'em if you want but there's probably a hundred more,” she shrugged. “You don't have to stay down here.”

“If you can do it, I can do it,” he nodded. “Damn, they're big though.”

“I swear I won't blame you if you'd rather go,” she said.

“No, I want to stay.”

“You can have my room, I can stay on the couch,” she offered.

“No, honey. I ain't taking your bed. I might scream like a girl for you to save me from a spider but I ain't taking your bed.”

They stayed up together for a while as she looked at a few of her old Robin Hood stories and he told her about his past with Daryl.

“You two were abused,” she said. “I'm sorry that happened to you.”

“You were abused too, there's different kinds of abuse. I was just telling you about it so maybe you'd see that.”

“It's over now for me, so it doesn't really matter anymore.”

“But you still carry it around with you.”

“Maybe."

“Your family isn't neglecting you now, but you neglect yourself. You should stand up for yourself a little more.”

“I never thought of that.”

“You handed over your house to this group and put yourself in the damn basement. This is your place!”

She realized then what she was doing and it got to her on a level she couldn't control. As much as she loved Merle she was almost angry at him for making her face these ugly feelings. She started to tear up and wiped the tears from her cheeks as fast as she could, desperate for him not to see it.

“Hey, it's OK to cry.”

“It's pointless.”

“It's good for you. Let it out. Women are supposed to cry.”

“What?”

“Well, maybe not supposed to...but they sure do it a lot, right?”

“You make me think of things I don't want to think about.”

“I'm sorry.”

“It's OK. It just hurts to think about why I act the way I do,” she sniffed.

“Why do you act this way?” he pressed.

“Cause I don't want anyone else to leave me,” she sobbed. “My family weren't nice to me, but then I had nobody. I don't want this group to leave me behind cause I'm not helpful or if I complain or something.”

“Bernice...that won't happen, I promise. If they put up with me, there's nothing you could ever do to make them leave.”

“My own mother left me though.”

“Well, I'm not leaving, do you hear me? I'm not going anywhere,” he stated and it was the best thing she could have asked to hear.

He grabbed her then and pulled her close to him and she bawled into his shoulder like a child for almost an hour. Bernice hadn't let herself cry properly for years and his shirt was soaked by the time it was over.

He lay her on the bed and lay next to her for a long time before returning to the couch and before he left he promised her again that he'd stay with her no matter what.

“You saved my life, Bernie. You're stuck with me now. Got that?”

“I got it...thank you.”

"You're a good woman, and you deserve to have someone putting you first. That's gonna be me," he stated firmly.

"Thank you, Merle."

"No problem. Goodnight, honey."

"Goodnight."

/

Merle woke her up early to hunt before anyone else was up and she grabbed her bow to follow him out the back door. Bernice was always up early and she was more than happy to hunt alone with Merle.

The sun was still hiding below the horizon and she stepped lightly as they reached the woods she mentioned the day before.

“There's a little creek,” she whispered. “Sometimes deer water there before sun up.”

He nodded and pulled his rifle up to prepare.

“I hear something...stay by the creek for a bit and I'll be back,” she whispered again.

She stepped off the creek side to follow the scuttling she heard and narrowed her eyes to detect finer movements. She suspected it was a ground bird of some type when she heard a subtle wingbeat sound and continued until she saw a little flash of brown plumage.

She prepared her bow and stayed still, waiting on the bird to reveal itself. After a good two minutes the grouse felt it was safe and wound up on the dirt with one of Bernice's arrows through his breast. She crouched down to wring its neck and then picked it up by its feet to locate Merle.

A single shot pierced the air and she grinned, suspecting that he'd found a deer. She found him by the water slicing a deer open to empty its cavity.

“Got one,” she smiled.

“You too.”

“Good hunting,” she nodded.

“You're incredible, you know that?”

She shrugged and sat down on a flat rock by the water to start plucking her kill.

“I mean it. I think you might be the one, Bernie. You wanna marry me?” he grinned.

It looked to her like he was telling a joke and she frowned at him. She figured he was making fun of her. Men didn't want to marry women who looked like her and killed grouse with their bare hands at 5 am.

“That's not nice,” she said softly.

“What's not nice?”

“Nothing.”

“What's wrong, Bernie?”

“It's not nice to tease someone like that."

“I ain't teasing you! What are you talking about?” he shot back.

“I feel things for you that you would never feel for me and that's probably funny for you, but it's not funny for me...it hurts like hell every day.”

“What do you feel for me?” he asked.

“Please don't pretend you don't know.”

“I don't know! What do you mean?”

“I can't do this...I can't talk to you about this,” she insisted and started to walk away with her kill in her hand.

“Get back here!” he hollered.

“I can't do this,” she wept. “I'm sorry. Forget I said anything. I still want to be friends. Don't stop being my friend, OK?”

“Bernice!” he shouted and she stopped dead in her tracks. “I don't like to use that tone with a woman, but you gotta get back here and listen to me.”

Bernice was startled and a little scared but she still walked back to him.

“For a girl who's scared of people leaving her, you sure are trying to leave me.”

“Sorry.”

“You ain't running anymore. If I have to chase you down, we're gonna have a talk, you got that?”

“OK.”

“Why did you come save me that night at the camp?”

“Merle...”

“Answer me.”

“Cause...I love you.”

“Me?”

“Yes. If something happened to you, I couldn't go on...you're all I ever think about.”

“Jesus.”

“You made me tell you,” she defended. “I was never going to trouble you with this.”

“I ain't troubled.”

She kept trying to breathe as she stood there feeling like her heart was beating outside her chest on full display. There was nowhere to hide from him anymore and she wanted to run away and would have if she didn't believe that he probably would chase her down.

“Don't leave me,” she begged.

“They really messed you up, didn't they?” he sighed. “I'm not going anywhere, Bernie, I told you that.”

“Thank God,” she wept and sat down on the rock again with her kill still gripped tight in her hand.

“You really love me?” he smiled.

“Yes. I love every single thing about you,” she confessed, allowing it to come falling out of her mouth like a waterfall of truth. “Ever since I first saw you, you're all I wanted.”

“I love you too.”

“Don't-” she sobbed. “Please don't say that if it's out of pity, I can't take that.”

Merle grabbed her and forced her to her feet then, making her drop her kill in the creek.

“You listen to me. I don't say shit like that to anyone for fun. The only other person I ever loved is Daryl and he's my baby brother. If I say I love you, it means something. I already told Daryl I wanna be with you and have a bunch of babies, go ask him yourself!"

“You did?"

“Hell yeah, I did. You're tough and smart and cute as hell. I want you to be with me but you gotta cut this shit out, honey. You're worth more than you think! I ain't having any woman of mine going around feeling lower than dirt!"

"OK," she smiled. "You really want to have babies with me?"

"Yeah, and I never wanted that until now and it's cause of you."

Merle leaned down to kiss her lips softly in the sunshine and she lost all sense of reality.

"God, I can't wait to get you alone now," he growled.

“It's been forever since I was with anyone, I probably don't remember how," she blushed.

"What do you mean?"

"Haven't had a boyfriend since I was 17, but my mom hated him and made me end things."

"You haven't had sex since you were 17?" he exclaimed.

"No."

"It's like riding a bike, you just let me take care of everything," he winked.

/

Merle headed back to the farm with Bernice and walked a step or two behind her to just take it in. She was short and wiry. There was something very strong and yet very vulnerable about her and he wanted it all. He had a strange feeling weeks before that maybe she had a little crush on him but presumed it would pass the more she got to know him. He never imagined that she felt something as serious as love for him. He respected her and wanted to change the way that she saw herself, he wanted to make her see that she was worthy of love.

She swung the grouse from her hand as she walked and turned to look back at him once and smiled. She was mad about him and he could see it now. It didn't make sense to him, but he'd take it.

They arrived back at the farm and Merle hung his deer in the barn to bleed out as she finished plucking and gutting her grouse.

“Bernie?”

“Yeah?”

“Why do you like me so much?”

He had to know.

“I noticed the first day we met that you and Daryl are real brothers. You bicker, but you love each other too. I wanted someone like that growing up, but my mom turned my siblings against me as soon as they were old enough. I just knew you were a good man...and the way you look makes me feel a little dizzy,” she shrugged. “Just can't help how I feel about you.”

“Never had a woman have a crush on me before,” he shrugged.

“Stop.”

“It's true. I usually have to work really hard to convince a woman to be with me.”

“I never wanted anyone the way I want you.”

“I wanna have you tonight, Bernie,” he said.

Merle wanted to give her the best night of her life and he didn't want to wait unless she needed to.

“I can't promise you that I'll have a clue what I'm doing, but I want to be yours more than anything else,” she answered and he loved her so much in that moment it scared him.

/

The rest of the group was buzzing around, mapping out garden plots, discussing possible livestock options and debating about security and all Merle could think of was Bernice. He was going to have a woman to call his very own, someone to live the rest of his life with and she was so perfect for him. Bernice was the ultimate partner in many ways. She could hunt and fight and she would die to protect him as he would die to protect her.

He washed up out back as it was getting dark and imagined making love to the little redhead waiting for him in the basement. She was washed up and brushing her hair when he said he was ready for bed and asked her if she was ready too. She blushed and nodded her head and he loved her sweet femininity mixed with her capable hunting skills, it turned him on that she would blush like a girl and wring a birds neck all in the same day.

He dried off his body and stepped back into his boxers as he looked out over the fields. This was a perfect place to make a life together and that's just what he planned to do with Bernice.

He walked down the steps after a quick chat with Daryl and kept his eyes peeled for spiders as he moved. She was laying in her bed when he stepped into her room and he eyed her pink nightgown with hunger in his belly for her.

“You good?” he asked.

“Yes,” she smiled.

Merle pulled back the sheets and slid in next to her, feeling hot for her already.

“I want you to be my woman, Bernie...I wanna please you every time I get the chance.”

“I want that too.”

“This probably seems fast, but I want the two of us to be partners. I want to be bonded with you,” he said as he turned to her and reached down to pull her leg up and around his hip. “I think in this world a man and a woman should be one person...living and dying for each other no matter what. I already know you'd stick your neck out for me and I'd do the same for you, honey.”

“You're making my head spin...I never thought you'd feel this way.”

“I do and now I wanna show you I can give you what you need.”

“My God...yes.”

Merle kissed her hard and urged her hips in tight against his body allowing her to feel what he had for her. She moaned into his mouth and he moved his hand down to touch her small breasts with his greedy hands. He liked her work-hardened body. She rarely sat still and she had muscle tone where most women didn't because of it. He normally liked a woman curvy and soft, but Bernie was a product of the life she had to live. Maybe if he could get her pregnant and have her stay back while he hunted for her, she could put on a little weight. He liked the idea of providing for her and allowing her to rest more often.

He moved his mouth into her neck and grazed her skin with his facial hair. His hand gripped her ass tight and then trailed down and around her thigh to tease her through her panties.

She squirmed against him and pulled her leg up higher around his waist, inviting more of his touch so Merle slid his fingers under the material of her underwear. She was wet and warm and he wanted to be inside her as soon as possible, but he was getting her off first no matter what.

He teased her a little longer, stroking her wet slit up and down and making her whined softly into his neck.

“Like that, woman? You nice and ready for me?”

“Yes...”

“Not yet, honey. I want you to cum all over my mouth first.”

“What?”

“Shhhh...”

Merle moved down under the bed sheets as she shifted nervously.

“It's OK. Stay still a minute. Trust me.”

She stopped moving and Merle ducked down to her thighs to pull her leg up over the side of his face. He liked the idea of going down on her as she lay on her side, it just felt right and he had a feeling she'd never done this before despite not being a virgin.

He could feel her breathing fast and one of her hands was planted on top of his head as if she was scared by what he was about to do.

“I wanna do this for you...this is how I make you mine,” he persisted and she gave in to him then.

She allowed him to move his face in between her thighs and he quickly slid her panties to the side to lick her and show her it was worth it. He needed her to see that his tongue between her lips was just what she really wanted.

“Jesus...” she sighed and he had her firmly in his trap.

Merle held her by the thigh that was resting on his cheek and delved his tongue into her swollen wet folds. He nudged her clit gently with his tongue and slid two fingers inside her to get her going.

“Oh my God,” she groaned and he grinned against her lips.

“Cum for me, honey...I'm so thirsty.”

Merle was pleased to see he hadn't lost his touch and had Bernie shuddering against his mouth in no time.

“Merle...Mmmmm...”

He rolled her onto her back as she was just starting to crack and pulled her pussy up to meet his mouth like a parched man drinking water from a bowl.

She wasn't capable of intelligible words, she just moaned and whined until it was over.

“That's my girl,” he grinned, raising his head over the covers and wiping his mouth on his forearm.

“I can't believe that anything on Earth feels that good,” she moaned.

“I can't believe you never did that before. You're getting it every morning after we hunt now.”

She covered her face with her arms then, draping them over her eyes and just sighed to herself.

“I wanna fuck you, honey...you gonna let me?"

“Uh huh,” she nodded.

“I can wait if you want to.”

“No, it's OK...but shouldn't I do something for you?”

“You don't have to blow me or anything, but I wouldn't mind if you jerk me off a little,” he winked.

He could tell she was nervous so he leaned over to kiss her and pulled her hand down to touch him.

“Jesus,” she gasped.

“Yeah...I know.”

She wrapped her fingers around him and jerked him off so awkwardly that somehow it turned him on more, it was like jerking off with his wrong hand. He let it continue for a while and then rolled her onto her back again to pull her panties down her legs.

“Open,” he instructed and slid himself between her knees to claim her.

“Merle...”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, honey. You're my woman now, OK? Till we die.”

“Till we die,” she nodded.

“Breathe for me now,” he said. “I'll take you slow but you gotta remember to breathe.”

He pushed his way inside her slow and easy and she melted into the bed under him.

“Ooooooooh my God,” she whined.

“That's right...you took it so nice. That's my good girl,” he crooned.

He kissed her hard and fucked her slow, moving in and out of her smooth like honey drizzling from a spoon.

“Like that? Do you feel that burn?”

“You're my man,” she groaned. “All I want is this forever.”

“You got it, Bernie. You got this cock whenever you need it. It's gonna be me and you now, we're a team, OK?”

“Yeah...Mmmmm...”

Merle held her hands over her head and filled her with his cock as she repeated his name.

“You take it so good, honey...tell me you want my babies.”

“I do.”

“That's right. Some day soon-” he groaned as he forced himself to pull out.

She held his head to her chest and smiled as he panted on top of her, coming back to Earth.

“Someday soon when things are settled here...lots of babies,” he repeated, "and we'll always be together."

“Sounds just like heaven to me,” she sighed.

He was impatient for the family he could already see in his mind, but he needed to know they'd be safe first. For the time being, all he wanted was Bernice by his side, someone to hold, someone to love him as he was without reservation. Merle was the happiest he'd ever been with Bernice in his arms that night; he knew that life had meaning and a promise of so much more happiness to come.

_**~ The End** _


End file.
